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I'm going to be loyal and side with owner Nicholas Cho, especially since Murky's response seemed the most mature:
"The customer in question, when told that it's our policy NOT to offer "espresso over ice," got angry right away. Regardless of how you feel about the merits of our policy, the fact that he got angry (in my opinion) is the crux of the matter. There are things in life to get angry about. There are matters that demand an elevated heart rate. This is not one of them."
Apparently all this coffee drama has taken the Arlington blogosphere by storm, so of course I had to jump on it too =)